Hello there! I'm David B. Clear, a kickass writer and cartoonist.
If you like illustrated stories that are funny and insightful, you should just say "f*** it" and SUBSCRIBE!
Wait. Did that just work?!
No? Alright. I understand. You might not know who the poopy-pants I am. So let me tell you a bit about me.
Here, you see that dude below? That's me!
As you can see, I pretend to be super happy, although in reality I'm as cheerful as a vegan in a slaughterhouse.
The cutie below, that's my wife Fabi and she appears in many of my comics.
She's from Bolivia and a direct descendant of the Incas, which makes her badass since her ancestors used to rip hearts out of people. In case you want to see Fabi and me in real life, here you go:
What?! No! That's not panic in her eyes! She's smiling under that mask! Geez ...
If you want to see us in action, here's a panel from one of my comics:
And here's another one:
Now, not all my comics feature just Fabi and me. There's a whole other cast of people who may show up, like some of these guys here:
But wait, there's more!
Did I already mention I'm a kickass writer? I did? Well, I am! And if you want to become one too, don't fret! I have a bi-weekly column with one of the biggest pubs on Medium. There I share essays that are all about the writing craft. In them, I'll show you how not to sound like a squeaky rubber duck.
And before I forget, I've also got a PhD and am a huge science fan! That means I can teach you a whole lot of interesting sh*t.
Finally, I'm also a world traveler and photographer. Here's a pic I took of Fabi and me in Iceland:
Here's one I took in Krakow, Poland:
Here's one I took in Cambodia:
And here's a selfie I took back home on an average Monday morning:
Alright, that's it!
• If you want to know more about me, read my FAQ.
• If you want to buy something from me, visit my little gumroad shop.
• And if you want to know if I'm worth your time, read the praise from my zombies (a.k.a. readers).
"This is great!" — Ev Williams
"Wickedly painfully brilliantly funny." — nareeta martin
"This is just plain fantastic." — J.J. Pryor
"OHTHAT IS TO GOOD!" — Malena N Davis
"Pulled the laughter out of my belly with such strength that I am still wiping my morning coffee off of the keyboard." — Holly Blondin
"This was brilliant!" — Nita Jain
"I LOVE the illustrations, they made me laugh so much" — Rosie Alderson, PhD
"Made me actually laugh out loud a couple of times." — Kat Zimmerman
"Truly effing warped and I love it!" — C Balcombe
"I laughed WAY too hard at this!" — Bryan Hampton
"Funniest piece I've read so far this month" — Judge-Mental
"The best article on Medium I’ve ever read. And that’s not just the Venti Latte speaking." — Adam Riggs-Zeigen
"I am IN LOVE with how you told this story." — Elan Cassandra
"A great example of writing that both uses simple language and *has content.*" — Rowen Veratome
"This is one of the most exciting articles I’ve come across in years." — Anthony Clemons
"You are well-named, David, you are clear. David, Brilliant, Clear." — Tooth Truth Roopa Vikesh
"U R so funnyyyyyyyyyyy!" — Jo Ann Harris